An Inflated Heart

We are on week four of waiting for one last document to come back from Washington DC.  This document would be the last piece to our Dossier and without we cannot send our Dossier to Ch*na.  Over the weekend I was reading in John 11.  This story of Lazarus death and resurrection, as strange as it sounds, really gave me the encouragement I needed to continue waiting on this last piece of paper.  I prefer control and am a take charge person.  When you adopt there are very few things you can control, and I certainly can't control Washington.  (yes, I did just say that in the midst of a heated presidential election)  I like things fast, organized and like to get the job done.  I also lack patience because I want things done 5 minutes ago or in this case four weeks ago.  So the waiting with this adoption can seem like torture to someone like me.  I know it's a good lesson and I'm trying to embrace it.   However, moving into week four for this one piece of paper that we need to move forward with the next big step in our adoption, well, I am tired of waiting.  I want it done and done NOW.

So as I read John 11 verse 41 really stood out to me.   "So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me."  Now if you put this verse in context, Lazarus had died.  He was buried in that tomb for the past four days, long enough to begin decomposing.  What struck me was that Jesus thanked God knowing with confidence that God had heard him.  What struck me even more was this was BEFORE Lazarus' resurrected life had been revealed.  So Jesus was thanking God in advance for a work He knew God was doing.  As I reflected on that I decided it was time to be thankful for what God is doing with this adoption paperwork.  I know God hears my pleas for this last piece of paper to come, He hears my cries knowing we can't move ahead without it and I'm ready to hold my child.  And if nothing else just thanking Him for the many blessings already in my life might actually make this wait a little less torterous.  So that's what I did. I started praying prayer of thanks over the weekend.  This morning as I woke up I prayed "Lord I have pestered you like the persistent widow (read Luke 18) for this document to arrive and I will thank you in advance because I know I can trust that in your time it will."

Later on this morning I was pretty discouraged for reasons completely unrelated to our adoption.  I prayed that God would send some encouragement my way, whether through a verse, through a phone call from a friend, or a visitor.  Lord, some how, some way encourage my heavy heart.  Well that was around 9:30am and at 11:12am I received an email.  The subject line said "Dossier to Ch*na."  It was from our caseworker.  Our document had returned from Washington DC, our dossier is complete and officially on it's way to Ch*na.  I have said it before and I will keep saying it over and over and over again, God once again does exceedingly, abudantly more than we could ask or imagine.  I would have been content with a verse, phone call or visitor, but this encouragement, this email, well it inflated my heart, it was an encouragement of a different kind.

Here's the thing:  I wouldn't see God's hand in this on my own.  If that last document had gone to DC and come back in a week, like it should have, and our dossier was sent three weeks ago, then the timeline would have been mine...not His!  I had to wait, and waiting for someone with an impatient heart like mine, causes me to pray, alot.  Those prayers help remind me that God is in this.  I truly was thankful this morning, maybe even content to wait another week.  But I'm VERY THANKFUL now.  Jesus knew that his Heavenly Father would get the glory when he called Lazarus out of that tomb.  I want God to get all the glory that today we are officially Dossier to Ch*na.