Silence. Surrender. Stubborn.

After praying hard that we would be logged in and matched in October, the 31st came and went without a log in date (LID).  Nothing but silence.  This is one of those moments when you pray for your desire and then when you look back you can clearly see that God knows what's best.  Scott and I took a very unexpected, last minute, week long trip to California the third week of October, we returned on a Friday and then Scott turned around and headed back to CA that Sunday for another week.  If we had been LID and matched in October it probably would have pushed us over the edge.  The paperwork and decisions we would have had to make combined with everything else going on would have been overwhelming.  Scott wouldn't have even been here to sign paperwork the week we could have been matched.  So in hind sight it was a good thing we did not get LID in October.  November came and every week we prayed hard again that we would receive our "log in date".  Each week came and went, and nothing but more silence.  Most people receive their log in date 1-3 weeks after DTC, we are on week seven.  I happened to be awake at 4am this morning thanks to a little Black Friday shopping trip with my daughter and niece.   I decided to check email before snuggling into bed for a little sleep.  An email from Proverbs 31 Ministries caught my attention, by why wouldn't it with a title like "Tired of Waiting?".  It was a perfectly timed message.  You can check it out here:  Tired of Waiting Devotion.   So there I was at 4am reading it, knowing God was speaking to my heart.  You see the next shared list is coming out on Monday, November 26th.  We need our LID date to be matched with a child on that list.  No LID, no match.  As I read the article I prayed, Lord please don't let this take 20 years (like Isaac and Rebekah), but I will wait, with your help I will wait on you.  It's a heart of surrender, but a stubborn heart like mine takes a looonnngggg time to get to that point.

At 12:32pm today we received an email from our case worker.  The subject line was "Received Log In Date".  We got the long awaited LID, 11/21/2012.  That's just in time for Mondays list to come out.  Now my heart wants to say that means we are going to be matched and know our childs face by late Monday night.  The reality is, it will happen...In.  God's.  Perfect.  Timing.

Please pray for us, if we do get a file match on Monday we have some huge decisions to make and we have some major paperwork to process and all within 72 hours.  It could be the most exciting, yet anxiety producing week, yet one we welcome with open hearts.