Adoption Day

Today was a big day.  After Gotcha Day the next big event is adoption day, that is the day you finalize everything with China and receive your child's passport.

I woke at 2am with a burden to pray, partially anxious about the day ahead.  I had some concerns about facing Mercy's caretakers again after we had made great progress with her bonding.  There were many things on my heart to pray, but my biggest and probably my most selfish request was "Lord please let her choose me over them.  Somehow let her choose me because I don't think my heart could bear her pleading to go back to them."  Yes, I really am that selfish, but if you know me well it won't shock you.

So around 5:30 am I'm in the bathroom getting ready and while brushing my teeth I keep spitting up black spit.  I knew I hadn't eaten anything since dinner the night before, I haven't had any chocolate.  I was very confused.  I look inside my mouth to see if something is in my teeth and my entire tongue is JET BLACK!  I FREAKED OUT and started yelling for Scott who freaked out to (well not as dramatically as me, but in his mellow even keeled way).  You know it must be bad when Scott gets upset.  He grabs his phone and starts googling black tongue, tongue turning black anything to figure out what's wrong.  Would you believe the night before I had finally let my guard down and we ate Cantonese.  I was convinced I was dying from eating real food here.  That something poisoned me!  I'm in the bathroom brushing my tongue and spitting, gargling listerine, spitting some more and by this point I'm shaking.  Scott comes in with his phone and asks "have you taken any Pepto Bismal?"  Yes, last night after dinner because my stomach was queasy.  He said "your black tongue is a side effect."  Deep breath, sigh, I'm not going to die.  I take a few moments to process it and settle my nerves.  And then I look at Scott and say "Well I guess The Lord wants to be sure I keep my mouth shut today, someone must have been praying!"  And we burst out laughing.  Seriously laugh to tears.  You see this is the day when I'm not suppose to talk, and let Scott do all the talking with the government officials.  If you know us at all, then this seems like an impossible task.  We even asked our care group to cover it in prayer.  After all, I am the mouth and Scott is the ears in our family.  But, there was no way I would dare open my mouth and let them catch sight of my black tongue!  They might think I'm sick and take Mercy back.  So we started off the day knowing my lips were sealed!!!  I'm telling you people we cannot make this stuff up, God writes this story and sometimes I forget it includes me because its so ridiculously crazy.

We left our hotel, headed for the train and off to Shijiazhung.  That is the capital of a Hebei Province.  Mercy was really acting up on the train.  It's hard to figure out what might be going through her 2 year old mind, but the last time she was on a train big life changes occurred, so we are guessing her behavior could have been fear driven, or just overstimulation.  We met Mercy's SWI staff at the notary public for our interview (the one Scott does the talking in) and to legalize all documents pertaining to the adoption.  As the meeting began the notary asked our guide for our home study.  What?  We don't have it?  She insisted she would need a copy of our home study.  Fear began to creep in my heart as thoughts flooded my mind like "Will we have to giver her back?  Does this mean we won't adopt her today?"  What does this all mean?"  We didn't even have a copy of our home study with us, not even back at the hotel.  It was never on our list of paperwork needed.  Scott and I were both very tense and scared.  Our guide made a few phone calls, we silently prayed, and in the end they gave us the OK to finish without it.  Phew!  While we were there our guide explained to her caretakers it was important they not hold Mercy and why.  Later in the meeting our guide and Scott had to leave the room to pay.  Her caretakers jumped out of their seats, swarmed me and grabbed her right out of my arms.  They passed her around speaking Chinese, and then a few minutes later handed her back.  It made me so angry, but I kept trying to remember this little girl is special to them.  She was willing to come back to me, which I found very encouraging.

When we were done our guide told us we had three hours to wait until our civil affairs appointment.  THREE HOURS, really?  What do you do with an ancy 2 yr old for three hours?  The driver took us to a local KFC with an indoor play land.  We hung out, and eventually needed lunch.  As soon as Scott and Susan went downstairs to order food her caretakers swarmed me again, snatched her from my arms and began passing her around and speaking Chinese.  This time Mercy freaked out.  She began crying, flailing backwards, and then reached back for me.  At first they pulled her back toward them, but she kept crying and reaching for me.  They handed her back and said something to me, but I have no idea what.  We ate, and then our guide told us she was going to take them next door to a market and leave us alone until 1:30 when we had to leave for our appointment.  Mercy fell asleep in my arms and we just sat in the 2nd floor of a KFC, no translator, just the three of us.  Scott and I were both tired and thirsty, but they didn't sell bottled water.  It was weird, but also refreshing to be alone.

We headed to Civil Affairs and it was nothing like I expected.  A three room, run down building as dingy and dirty as could be.  One man was smoking and tossed his ashes and eventually his still lit cigarette bud on the floor.  We sat and filled out paperwork, signed an oath promising to take care of her and got fingerprinted.  Then they needed to take her picture for her passport.  They made me take her sweater off and she freaked.  I already knew she would because she has some sensory issues and we have already learned wearing short sleeves is one of them.  She began scratching her arms and crying and threw herself back in the chair.  I tried to explain if I put her sweater back on she would stop, but they refused.  Scott grabbed some snacks from the diaper bag to try and distract her.  People were coming in off the streets to see what the screaming child and commotion was all about.  There were around 10 people crammed in this tiny little room trying to get her to look up.  They explained we would not be able to leave until they got a picture of her looking up and forward, eyes both open and both ears showing.  I was about to lose it, my blood pressure soared and the anger I was feeling towards these people was raging and my patience was running out.  Thank God I had a black tongue issue or they may have learned a few new English words.  The Lord truly has an incredible sense of humor, but His grace and protection were evident too.  Seriously my Maker knows my heart and knew what I would face and He dealt well with Me.  Try fulfilling all these photo requirements with a sensory issue and a bright flash glowing at a child with light sensitivity.  GET A CLUE PEOPLE!!!  I realized in this moment that while her caretakers love her, they don't know or understand her, and I'm not so sure they care to either.  I wanted her best interest, they wanted theirs.

The next thing I know the director of the orphanage pulled a lollipop fom my bag, opened it up and began giving it to her.  I will confess jealousy rose up in my heart.  I wanted her first lollipop experience to come from me.  Mercy began to settle, but kept turning her head toward me.  I tried to take the lollipop from the director because I could hold it at an angle that would get the photographer the shot she needed, but the director grabbed the lollipop tight and wouldn't let go.  I was in a power struggle with a grown woman over a lollipop and a little girls attention.  We did finally get the picture, it was a long hard process, but we got it.

We headed back to the notary to finish everything up.  Received our official adoption certificate and everything we would need to get her visa at the US Consulate.  We were handed her passport and the freedom to leave with her FOREVER!  In this crazy foreign land in a dingy, smokey, smelly office Mercy became a Miller, she became ours.  We took some more pictures and her caretakers said a final tear-filled goodbye.  They pleaded with us to bring her back to visit, pleaded we send them pictures and that we would write updates.  As angry as I was with them I cried too.  My heart softened and I even handed Mercy to them so they could kiss and hug her goodbye.  When it was all said and done Mercy turned around and reached for me.  She chose me!  My heart can barely contain the thought, but she did, she chose me.